Day 3: Jonathan Tilley
Suzanne wrote “TED Talk” on the piece of paper then turned it 180 degrees for me to read. Despair, frustration, waaaaay over my head… just a few of the millions of emotions that filled my entire body. “How are you feeling?” she asked.
“Excited and scared,” I said as I underplayed all the other emotions.
Tesz turned to me and said, “You’ve got this”.
She always had a way of seeing my vision clearer than I ever could and believing in it 1000 times more than I ever did. The three of us were in Berlin doing our own little mastermind. It was Sunday, we were at brunch, and for the most part I was fine. I had everything under control until it got to me. After all, that was the point of the weekend in Berlin - to help each other get closer to our big scary goals.
Suzanne wanted to work less and workout more. Tesz wanted to write a book. I wanted to do a TED Talk. And we needed each other to move the needle.
I said to the ladies, “you know… I read that if you give your goal an ultimatum that is totally against your moral compass you wind up getting to your goal faster.” They looked at me like I was speaking Swahili. “OK let me give you an example.” I knew what my big scary goal was but what was one thing that made my stomach churn out of pure disgust. “Alright I’ve got it. I will do a TED Talk within one year or I will do a talk for the Ku Klux Klan.”
They both gasped. “Wait WHAT?!” “You CAN’T!”
Rolling my eyes I said, “you know me, I would never do a talk in front of a bunch of racists. But that’s exactly the point. I’m giving my big scary goal an ultimatum. If I don’t reach my goal within one year, I have to do something so dramatic that feels like torture that it will force me to do the thing that I really want to do instead.” They nodded. They got it. Then they filmed me saying it as social proof. No turning back now!
Once they finished recording me I flipped the camera on them and said, “ok your turn.”
Suzanne started to blush. She looked into my iPhone camera and said, “I will work less and work out more and lose a few pounds within one year. And if I don’t I have to walk down my street naked.”
I stopped recording. She squealed. Her face was blood red. We were onto something.
Tesz steeled herself. She was up next. I turned the iPhone camera on her.
“I’ll write a book within one year or I will… or I’ll… I’LL JUMP OUT OF A PLANE!”
The entire restaurant stopped eating and turned to look at her. She got so excited she screamed out her ultimatum disrupting everyone else’s Sunday brunch.
We giggled like schoolchildren and then watched our video manifestos multiple times over. We flew back home, did laundry, got settled in for the week ahead motivated beyond belief.
Monday came around and I felt dread take over my body. What did I actually promise myself to do?! How the hell could I get out of it!?! Well, I knew the only way out of it would be to don a pointy white hat with two eye holes and that was something I definitely would not do. So the only alternative was to apply to be a speaker for TED Stuttgart. I’d been on the site millions of times staring blankly at the contact form. Now I needed to take action and apply to be a speaker. I looked for all of the distractions - Facebook, play some music, walk the dog, call a friend, run stupid errands… but I knew that the alternative was so drastic and vile I wanted to get to my big scary goal as soon as possible. The dog would have to wait. for his walk. I was going to apply to be a speaker at TED!
It took me only 15 minutes to fill out the application. Talk about anticlimactic. Where was the standing ovation and confetti?
Afterwards I was free to run the errands and get on with my business. And two days later they invited me to the office for a meet and greet. I worked with them to finalise my talk. And less than 4 months after the Berlin mastermind I was on stage giving my TED Talk “What Creativity Is Trying To Tell You”. → Check it out here.
Since then my talk has been the spring board for my public speaking career and a mission statement for all that I stand for. It has inspired hundreds of thousands of creatives to turn thoughts into things and share their talent with the world.
Since then Tesz wrote the book and Suzanne lost the weight. And like me, we all did it within 6 months or less.
So trick yourself into doing something that you really want to do and if you don’t do it then you have to do something you really don’t want to do. Give your big scary goal an ultimatum that is totally against your moral compass. Who knows, you may wind up getting to your goal faster than you ever thought.
Jonathan Tilley is a former dancer and voice over artist turned personal brand strategist who helps creative people and independent businesses shine online and share their talent with the world. He develops and delivers online courses that teach creatives about branding and marketing in an entertaining way - perfect for how the creative mind works.
Asking for Impossible Things
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